Old Acquaintences New Allegiances [ Elise ]

[Wolfie]

Wolfpaw wandered about the territory; he was a newly made apprentice, and he shouldn't be wandering out alone, well, not yet anyways. Either way, Wolfpaw was wandering about, alone, without any other cats to accompany him. Why? Simple, he was thinking back to Fernkit and Marshtail.

He looked down at the white snow on the ground, which only fell at leaf-bare; his pawprint was large, in contrast to many others. He was one of the biggest apprentices, well, it seemed that way. He was the biggest of his litter, and is still larger than Hawkpaw; whom was just about average sized. With a sigh, he shook his head; letting his paws take him to StarClan knows where. He had been thinking about Fernkit and Marshtail, his kin; it was funny, how he and Hawkpaw promised to be the best, in memory of their fallen sister, Fernkit, and yet, how a simple pawprint could distract his thoughts.

His tail was numb, or rather, it was slowly becoming numb; seeing as he was dragging it through the snow. It was always like this, more recently since he was not a kit anymore, with the warmth of Hawkpaw and Leafwing surrounding him. He was now an apprentice, once that had duties to the clan, one that had to learn to live with the pain of knowing it was his fault for the death of Fernkit and Marshtail. If only he hadn't been so reckless as a kit, if only he and Hawkpaw allowed Fernkit to talk them out of wandering out the camp.

Thinking back to the day, only a moon before their apprenticeship, Wolfpaw remembered the feelings of devastation and the pain; he remembered the pain well. So well, in fact, that he used it to fuel his battle training; he used it to become the best warrior. With his large stature, he was sure he'd be a great warrior; but the pain of knowing his smaller sister couldn't be a great warrior along with him and Hawkpaw got to him. Marshtail was a great warrior, amazing even. He was tough, and large, much like Wolfpaw himself, and he was a warrior who battled with heart and soul, as much as wit and strength. Marshtail was a true warrior; at least, to the eyes of the young apprentice.

Sadness overcame Wolfpaw, as he remembered watching his sister be attacked, and not being able to do anything. He remembered, running back to camp with some apprentices and looking back, only to see Marshtail get fatally injured and Talonstrike fighting even more fiercely than ever. He remembered when Fernkit was brought to the medicine cat den; how the leader and deputy rushed out to aid their warriors; how Leafwing wailed for Fernkit. He remembered the looks the deputy and leader gave him and Hawkpaw when the patrol returned. He remembered the haunted look in Talonstrike's eyes.

He remembered it all; as if it were yesterday. He felt the pain as if it were yesterday; he felt the guilt as if it were yesterday. Wolfpaw shook his head, and stopped, looking around. He had reached the BrookClan border, but when? Probably when he was remembering the harsh past. So, instead of going back to the camp to face Talonstrike, Hawkpaw and Leafpool; he turned for something to hunt.

It was a difficult catch; the mouse being skinny and quick. It didn't count as prey though; for when he caught it, he could feel the bones breaking under his large paw. The mouse was nothing but skin and bones; which was not unusual during leaf-bare. With a sigh, instead of eating the pathetic piece of prey he caught he buried it, resolving to bring it back along with other pieces of prey to his clan. His whiskers flicked slightly as he scented another cat; it was a BrookClan cat by the scent of it. So, instead of turning to hunt for more, Wolfpaw sat down, and waited for the cat to appear. Better to be safe than sorry when it comes to prey during leaf-bare.

[ word count: ] 679
[ tagged: ] Riddlepaw
[ note: ] N/A

[!!elissebear]

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[atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq95/amanda1472/riddle2.jpg] The ground beneath my feet gave a solid crunching sound as I walked. It echoed in my ears and the trees around me. My paws moved lightly. I didn’t want the whole of the world to hear me as I made my way around the boarder. Food was hard to come by and it made me wonder why I’d chosen this clan at this time. It seemed like such a stupid idea, but there was a feeling of belonging when I was here. That was all that mattered to me. Knowing that I belonged somewhere was better than not belonging at all. I had to keep telling myself. No matter how hard my struggles were, they would always make me stronger in the end. That was what the life of a warrior was. Struggle, over come and believe. Well, that was what I told myself anyways. My mind was a wondering mess of thoughts and I should have been focusing, but on what? There was nothing to focus on except that I’d left one life for another and it was hard to think about that. Yet, it was the only thing that stayed in my mind. Nothing else mattered, which was why it sucked so much. My paws beat the ground at a steady pace and my ears flickered from side to side, trying to catch any sounds, but the only sound I could hear was the rush of wind and the thump, thump, thump of my four paws against the ground. I couldn’t smell anything and that was what really sucked. I probably would have known that there was another cat, but I didn’t. I had no idea that I was walking right into another feline. One that should have been considered an enemy, but wasn’t since I still considered that scent friendly. My head bobbed with my pace and I only felt myself move faster the closer I got to it. My warm breath misted before me and then. . . then I was in a place that I shouldn’t have been. I stopped dead when I looked up and saw the last feline I wanted to see. Every single thought that I had came to a simple stop right then and there. My eyes focused for the first time since I’d left camp and I felt my heart leap up in my throat. I was in trouble. Huge trouble. A low rumble of sound came up in my throat and my tail lashed from side to side. What was I doing? I was the one on enemy territory and I was acting like he’d just walked into Brookclan territory. I took several steps back. They were slow and cautious, but I didn’t feel like I needed to run. Not when I realized who he was. “Wolfpaw.” The words were slow and breathy as I looked at him. When was the last time I’d looked at an old clan mate? Ages and ages. My weight shifted this way and that, unsure of what I should do. Should I walk away now? Probably. Could I actually do it? That wasn’t likely. It wasn’t common that I walked away from a threat or even backed up a few steps. Wolfpaw wasn’t a threat, or at least that was what I was telling myself. For all I knew, he saw me as one now. I mean, think about it. I’d turned my back on my clan and left because I couldn’t handle the memories that floated there, so close to the surface. I wonder if he knew what had happened to me. It didn’t see it as being a likely story. “What are you doing out here alone?” I demanded of my old friend. It wasn’t hard to hear the sharp edge to my voice. I was genuinely concerned for why he was out here roaming alone. Then again, he was probably thinking the same about me. I couldn’t help it that I was here. It had become second nature for me to wonder alone when my mind was lost. I wasn’t about to stop it now just because I was once more a part of a clan. It just didn’t feel right. speaking word count -- tag -- Wolfpaw/Wolfie comments -- wow. um. . . yeah. Lots of rambling. Little confusing. x D muse -- good

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[Wolfie]

Wolfpaw's ears pricked as he heard the pawsteps getting closer. He smelt the scent, it was definitely a BrookClan cat. He saw the cat before she saw him; and his ears pricked in surprise. It was an old clanmate, Riddlepaw. 'Well, now it seems ex-clanmate is a better term.' he thought bitterly. She was on the BrookClan side of the border with the BrookClan scent. His eyes narrowed slightly as she neared the borderline; if she thought just because she used to be HillClan, that she could cross the borders with no trouble, then she thought wrong. Though he highly doubted he'd be able to punish her correctly. This was the first time he's met someone he knew outside the clan; Riddlepaw, an old clanmate, an ex-clanmate.

"Wolfpaw."

He heard her breathy mew. His myterious amber eyes flashed, and he nodded his head in acknowledgment. "Riddlepaw." His amber eyes took in her appearance, she hadn't changed much since he last saw her. It seemed so long ago that they had seen each other, that they had talked. He tilted his head cutely when she asked what he was doing out alone. A wolfish grin, another reason for his naming, came across his features; "I could ask you the same thing, huh Riddlepaw?" He slowly got up from his sitting position, and almost immediately noticed the size difference. It seemed as if only BoulderClan had cats the same size as him, and some even bigger!

Slowly, almost leisurely, Wolfpaw made his way towards Riddlepaw, making sure not to cross the borders. As soon as he was close enough, he looked at her, his amber eyes questioning. 'What happened to you Riddlepaw? Why'd you leave?' Instead of asking though, Wolfpaw merely made a comment. "It's been a while." his amber gaze never once left the pretty orange and white she-cat's. Wolfpaw's ears twitched, as he remembered her from kithood. They were about the same age; so of course they'd have a kithood together. Along with her littermate, Dustkit, well, now and forever, Dustpaw. Wolfpaw looked to the skies for a moment, remembering the young apprentice now hunting with StarClan.

He turned his mysterious amber gaze back to Riddlepaw; "How are you, Riddlepaw?" he asked, settling down near the border, but far enough to show he was loyal to HillClan, despite the fact that they were once clanmates. His loyalty to HillClan was strong, very strong; and nothing would make him turn his back on his clan, not an ex-clanmate, a loner, a rouge; not even StarClan. Wolfpaw was as loyal as they come, and he'd remain that way. 'Still, it can't be wrong to re-make our friendship, right?' he silently wondered to StarClan, the only ones who knew the right answer to that question.

[ word count: ] 478 ~ Or somewhere around there
[ tagged: ] Riddlepaw/Elise
[ notes: ] A little short, sorry!

[!!elissebear]

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[atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq95/amanda1472/riddle2.jpg] I was feeling quite cross with myself now. Why was I here to begin with? What had drawn me toward the Hillclan boarder? Only Starclan could answer that question and now, I was staring at the main reason I shouldn’t have been over here. The exact reason I shouldn’t have decided to travel this way. My sapphire orbs turned away from him for a moment. I couldn’t let my mind wonder to those old times. The times when I romped before the nursery and pretended to fight with him or the times when I was jealous of what he had and what I had lost. It was hard to even look at him and not feel those things, but I needed. . . No, I wanted to shove them aside and ignore them. I couldn’t accept that I missed him and the clan that had once been my birth home. My chest tightened with the memory and the constriction hurt. It hurt so much that I nearly winced with the pain of it. I needed to ignore it, push it away. Shove it in a locked vault of my mind and never let it out again. That was all I could do. Sniffing lightly, I looked back to him. “Well, yes. I guess you could.” I shrugged a delicate shoulder and locked my eyes on his. He should know better. I’d been gone for a good bit of time. My mind was spinning once more. Reeling at the idea that he was here. How long had been since I had last laid eyes on his face? Awhile, a whole moon if I was counting right. I’d been made an apprentice a moon early just because I was so restless and I begged and proved myself worthy of being allowed to join a moon early. That was about the time I left though, I was a week off from being six moons when I lost them. Now, I was faced with looking at Wolfpaw, someone I’d been very close to. I glanced to the sky. Was this some sort of punishment for leaving and then traveling to close? More than likely it was and I would just have to live without getting any really answer to my question. I swallowed down that pain and then looked, really looked at this long lost friend. Was he still my friend though? That was the question. Lifting a shoulder, I shrugged in answer to his question. “I’ve been really good actually.” I smiled half heartedly before turning my warm, azul pools onto him. “How about you, Wolfpaw? How have you been?” I asked; voice a soft mew in the denseness of the world around us. How could I be talking to him? How could I be doing this? It wasn’t okay for me to be doing this when I’d only just been accepted into Brookclan. It would be just my luck that someone stumbled upon us and then told Pantherstar. I would lose whatever trust I’d gained with them and then they’d all find out. I didn’t want them all to know. I’d lied and told them I’d been on my own when I decided to join them. I couldn’t let them find out. Not this way. Never this way. speaking word count -- 546 tag -- Wolfpaw/Wolfie comments -- wow. um. . . yeah. Lots of rambling. Little confusing. x D muse -- good

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[Wolfie]

Wolfpaw's ears twitched when he heard her answer.

"I've been really good actually."

His eyes flashed, 'Then abandoning your clanmates is good too, huh?'[/color] he couldn't help but think. Riddlepaw was lucky it wasn't Talonstrike or Hawkpaw that caught her, but him. Hawkpaw was much more impulsive, he would've taken her down the moment he saw her. Talonstrike would've been much like him, observing. Afterwards, though, Talonstrike wouldn't seem so kind; he would've ran her out, threatening should she ever come back. They would've seen the betrayal. Of course, Wolfpaw did too; betrayal was something he did not react well to, but Riddlepaw; for some reason, with this she-cat, he couldn't just turn away from her, or chase her away and tell her to never come back. He just couldn't do it.

"How about you Wolfpaw? How have you been?"[/i]

Her question snapped his mind back to the present, and away from his thoughts. His mysterious amber eyes met her warm azure ones. His eyes narrowed slightly, partially angry at himself and partially angry at Riddlepaw, Wolfpaw couldn't help it. "I'm fine" was his short, curt answer. How could he? How could she? How could they be conversing as if she never betrayed them? How could he just sit there and talk with her? Wolfpaw stood, his form towering over hers as he neared the border that separated HillClan from BrookClan, the border that now separated them.

He looked down at Riddlepaw's orange and white form, into her azure eyes; and sat down, still larger than the she-cat apprentice before him. He wondered if she knew about the whole reason he was there in the first place. He couldn't help it; she still seemed like the clanmate he once knew, or at least, thought he knew. 'Riddlepaw probably doesn't know; she doesn't know' he repeated in his head, eyes still focused on the she-cat in front of him. Would things have been different if she knew? If it had happened before she left? Wolfpaw somehow doubted it. If she betrayed them once, she'll betray them again.

"You're lucky, Riddlepaw, that it was me you ended up meeting." he spoke, a quiet mysterious mew. She was. He knew for some reason StarClan had them both come to the border; apparently both lost in thought from the looks of before. Maybe they were trying to tell them something? 'But what?' He glanced at the brightening sky; perhaps it was just coincidence? His ear twitched at the thought, coincidence wouldn't be that cruel. Wolfpaw glanced at his old friend, it seemed as if they never met until now. He remembered they used to be able to talk about anything, mainly warrior life. Now, his whisker twitched, they had nothing to say to each other but formalities.

"If Whitestar finds out, think he'll see you as the same she-cat he made an apprentice from?" 'Because I surely don't...but maybe she's in there somewhere...' he thought to StarClan, his intense amber gaze focused on the she-cat in front of him. 'Please StarClan, let her be in there somewhere...'

[ word count: ] 542
[ tagged: ] Riddlepaw
[ notes: ] Hmm...interesting. Can't wait for the next post, see how Riddlepaw see's all this as.
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[!!elissebear]

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[atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq95/amanda1472/riddle2.jpg] I could almost feel the judgment rolling off of Wolfpaw and I hated this feeling. I hated it more than I’d ever hated anything. I could only imagine all the nasty things he was thinking about right now. My heart raced against my chest, threatening to burst through. I wanted to turn tail and run away, but I knew that I owed him an explanation. One that would be very hard. Oh so very hard. My ears flickered backward and to the side. A look of pain filled my eyes and features. I knew it had, because my chest felt tight, almost like I couldn’t breathe. I swallowed a deep breath and shut my eyes tight against the pain before opening them once more. There was a bright and bold determination in them now. I wasn’t about to let my old loyalties sway me. I would continue to push through and fight. I had to, because Brookclan was my new start and I couldn’t let them down. I wouldn’t let them down. Not now, not ever. I’d already lost so much and now. . . now I felt safe and at home with this new clan. I drew in a deep breath and stared at him. Just stared. His words hurt, even if that was not what they were meant to do. They bite hard at my invisible shield and I knew now was my only chance to get out the words that bubbled just under the surface of my thoughts, but I paused, tilting my head at him. I looked away from him, releasing a pained breath and chuckling in the most hurt of ways. “Don’t be so sure, Wolfpaw. This could be worse than meeting anyone else.” I looked at him once more, jaw trembling and eyes bright with withheld emotions and feelings. I was not going to let him see how much this hurt me. How upset I really was, deep down. I swallowed several times and knew that this was fate. We were supposed to meet each other so I could try to explain things to him. It was hard, but I knew this was the only way. He had to forget about me. We couldn’t continue to look at each other and see friend and foe at the same time. Life as a clan cat just didn’t work that way. It was impossible to stay friends in this world. Without thinking about what I was saying I snarled, “No, he wouldn’t, Wolfpaw. I am not the same she-cat as I used to be. My life has changed. I lost everything and had no reason to stay. No feeling of belonging. Here, here I feel like I belong. Like I’m a part of something. Oh Wolfpaw, I turned my back on Hillclan, I can’t do the same to Brookclan. It would break me apart.” The words choked off and I gazed toward the sky, keeping my gaze away from him, not letting him see how much this really and truly hurt me. I couldn’t let him see that. He had the power to sway me and I couldn’t let that happen, not when I felt so at home in this clan that was so different from my old one. It was fair the way I felt and it wasn’t fair to him that I let him stay so lost and confused. speaking word count -- 565 tag -- Wolfpaw/Wolfie comments -- there was a lot of feeling in that one. muse -- good

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[Wolfie]

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[atrb=background,http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm141/Spottedbelly/Wolfpawmain.png] “Don’t be so sure, Wolfpaw. This could be worse than meeting anyone else.” Wolfpaw's eyes narrowed at her statement; did she not think he was being kind enough, especially since she betrayed the clan, since she betrayed him. A low growl threatened to escape his throat, but he held it in; this was not the way to get Riddlepaw back, if she ever came back that is. His amber eyes bored into her azure ones. He noticed the trembling of her jaw, the emotions swimming in her eyes, he practically felt the hurt radiating off her. His gaze lessened in intensity, but it still remained intense nonetheless. He had hurt her; but what was he supposed to do? Welcome her onto the territory with sheathed claws? Surely not; it was a warrior's world, and if they remained on different clans, they'd have to forget the past. Forget their friendship. Forget each other. He didn't want it to come down to that; he wanted them to remain friends, to be able to remember the times in the nursery. He wanted them to become warriors together, just like how they used to talk about when they were kits. Still, at Riddlepaw's answer, he couldn't help but shake his head. Despite the pain he caused her, he knew it was far from the pain he should've caused. He should've told her she was a traitor, he should've told her she wasn't welcome near the border. He should've told her the next time they meet would be on the battlefield, or at a gathering. He should've told her they weren't friends anymore. He should've told her that she was nothing but an enemy to the clan now. He should've told her all those things, and yet he didn't. He was sure any other clanmate would've. None of them would've welcomed her with open arms; they'd look at her with cold eyes, and even turned their back on her and just walk away. Another thing he should've done. Yet, he didn't, he didn't do any of those things. Why? He wasn't sure himself, perhaps it was StarClan's way of trying to get them to talk. Talk, about what? He didn't know the answer to that either. “No, he wouldn’t, Wolfpaw. I am not the same she-cat as I used to be. My life has changed. I lost everything and had no reason to stay. No feeling of belonging. Here, here I feel like I belong. Like I’m a part of something." Wolfpaw growled lowly this time, his amber eyes flashing furiously, his hackles raised, and ears pulled back. Did she think she was the only one who suffered during their kithood in HillClan? Surely not. He almost lost everything; all he had was Talonstrike and Hawkpaw. Talonstrike was never the same after Marshtail's and Fernkit's deaths; he wasn't the same father Wolfpaw knew. But Wolfpaw had to see the torment in his eyes, the pain Talonstrike suffered, Wolfpaw had to watch while his father broke. Hawkpaw wasn't as observant, so he didn't realize, but despite their father being alive, it's as if he was gone too. The same day they lost Marshtail. Did Riddlepaw believe that just because he hadn't lost everything that he hadn't felt pain either? Watching Talonstrike lose himself was the most painful thing Wolfpaw had to experience, it was as if Talonstrike joined StarClan as well. "Do you think your the only one who lost everything!?" he hissed back, eyes flashing with anger, sadness, loneliness, but the most prominent one was pain. The pain in his eyes, and the pain he felt was intense; but he never once thought of leaving the clan those he lost loved so dearly. He never once thought of betraying HillClan. "Oh Wolfpaw, I turned my back on Hillclan, I can’t do the same to Brookclan. It would break me apart.”

[/i]

He turned his head away from Riddlepaw. The pain in his heart was overwhelming, and her statement only made things worse. 'She's not coming back then.'[/color] As he glanced at Riddlepaw, he saw her gaze at the sky. His eyes flashed with anger and pain; so he kept his gaze on the horizon. He wanted to just up and leave, and yet, he stayed. Why? He wasn't sure himself. He knew he had to know the reason she left, he knew he had to hear her out. He finally realized, 'Perhaps this is StarClan's wish. That I hear her reason. That someone from the clan knows why she left.'

"Have you ever considered how your betrayal would break us?" he asked, softly, yet strongly. His intense amber gaze never returned to Riddlepaw though; he was an apprentice, he couldn't let her see her betrayal hurt him too. "Nevertheless, I want to know. I want to know why?". His gaze still didn't return to her; he wouldn't let it.

[ Word Count:] 820
[ Tagged: ] Riddlepaw/Elise
[ Notes: ] Their meeting is very interesting. Love to see where it goes from here. Sorry for the rambling, had to get his thoughts and feelings together.

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[!!elissebear]

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[atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq95/amanda1472/riddle2.jpg] I could picture it now; our time as kits together. We’d played and romped before the nursery, growling and rolling this way and that. I closed my eyes, savoring the images as they flashed before my eyes. I also saw Dustpaw coming forward to join in our play. Sometimes we ganged up on Wolfpaw and other times Wolfpaw and I ganged up on her. It was all in good fun, but sometimes it didn’t seem that way. Fur would fly when we actually got mad at each other and well, our mothers were quick to step in when we took it one step too far. Often times, my mother would grab my scruff and about sit on Dustpaw just to get her to behave. After we got over our anger and frustration, we would laugh and play some more, but for the day we would try and be nice to each other. It was a trial and error kind of thing, but in the end, we always remained close. Now. . . I was pushing him away. It was for the best, but it was hard. I was more than positive that in the end we would hate each other. Loath each other even. As I looked at him, he seemed to soften when he saw this was upsetting me. No, I couldn’t let him think that just because this hurt me that I would give in to what he was asking of me. I set my jaw, massing my teeth together to keep my jaw from shaking. I would not let that happen, not now, not ever. I felt my shoulders shift from side to side as I set them and stared straight at the tom that had once been my best friend. He was no longer that tom. I needed to see him as an enemy now. If I didn’t see him that way, then I would be tempted, oh so tempted to walk away from the life I had made in Brookclan and try to rebuild my life in Hillclan. I couldn’t do that and I wouldn’t. Never again would I be homeless and without love. I had found something here and I wanted to grow with them. I looked up to my mentor as a sister and she accepted me as that. She didn’t let others make me feel unwanted and I always knew that I could go to her and talk to her when I felt troubled. This was one of those times that I wished, how I wished that I’d come out here with her. She would have helped me through this and maybe, just maybe I would go and find her after this. I needed that kind of support right now and she was all I could ask for with her sister like behavior and tender care when I seemed so lost. I shifted my weight not wanting to hear that hostile growl in his voice or see that pain in his eyes. I looked down at the ground; it was all I could do to keep myself steady and at ease. If I looked at him too much, I would lose it and give in. I could NOT give in to him. Not now, not ever. No. It was hard to have to keep telling myself that, but it was better this way. Much better this way. I wrapped my tail around my front paws before unsheathing my claws and digging them deep into the ground. The Earth was my support until I could get back to camp. Until I could run away from this ghost at haunted me now in the waking hours and not just in my dreams anymore. Those words. The harsh sting of them had my anger flaring up. I tempered back my normal means of response and spoke out in a fashion I knew he would understand. “I know I’m not the only one who’s lost everything. There are others out there who have lost far more than me! I don’t handle it the same way as others though!” The words snapped out, echoing in the trees around us. I couldn’t believe how sharp and harsh they were, but I had to get them out and I had to snarl them to get my point acrossed. He didn’t know what kind of laugh I’d lived since I’d left. Before it was hard and cruel, but now I was safe and in a place that was more than home. I actually wanted to defend it with my life and before I wouldn’t have laid my life down on the line for Hillclan. It was hard to admit that, but now I realized that it was all I had. Brookclan was all I had and all I needed aside from the social needs that came with being a clan cat. Feeling like my heart was going to burst I stood and looked at Wolfpaw with eyes as cold as ice. It was hard, but I had to inflict all the clan loyalties I could into these next words. “It broke me to leave. It shattered me to leave, but I had to pick the pieces up and put myself back together. Brookclan knows nothing except that I’m not some soft kittypet. They don’t question and I don’t answer.” The words were short, as if I was about to lose my temper once more. “Why? Really? You can’t figure that out?” I huffed out the words and walked right to the edge of the boarder, “There was too much. There were way too many memories. Memories that still haunt me even though I’m no longer there, memories that only become more and more potent the more I try to ignore them. At least in Brookclan, I don’t flinch because I’m in a place that I once stood with Dustpaw.” The words were potent with my anger, harsh with the fury that I was throwing at him. It wasn’t common that I got this upset, but he’d pushed me and I was pushing back now. speaking word count -- 1014 tag -- Wolfpaw/Wolfie comments -- muse -- awesome

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[Wolfie]

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[atrb=background,http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm141/Spottedbelly/Wolfpawmain.png] It was just like back then, the times where she would play with him, along with their littermates. They made a troublesome group of kits, that was for sure. He was the largest kit out of the group though; so he liked to pretend he was already an apprentice with them. Hawkkit would always join in, always ready to be where Wolfpaw was in rank, always ready to be part of the clan they loved so much. Fernkit wouldn't play-fight with them, she was more of a medicine cat apprentice type anyways, even if she trained for a warrior. Wolfpaw knew, if Mistpaw wasn't the medicine cat apprentice, then surely Fernkit would've went for the apprenticeship. He could remember how Fernkit would always be the one to tell them they should watch their injuries, that they shouldn't be play-fighting so roughly. It shocked her, though, that Riddlekit and Dustkit were apart of the play-fighting as well. She would've thought since they were she-cats, that they would've been a least a little more gentle. Especially when they got angry with each other. Flying fur, grabbed by the scruff, yowls of stop coming from Fernkit and a lecture from both Leafwing and his sister. Now, though, as he glanced at the she-cat before him, who was just as stubborn as an elder, he saw neither the kit he grew up with or the apprentice who was made a moon early. No, it was a new she-cat in front of him, and Wolfpaw couldn't stand it. The memories they had, when they all used to play and laugh, like nothing was ever wrong and nothing could go wrong. The memories of playing with the other kits, with his friends, with Riddlekit, his best friend. His eyes flashed with the memory, and his mind compared the two Riddlepaw's; the one he once knew, and the one before him. 'They may look like the same she-cat; but they are nothing alike' “I know I’m not the only one who’s lost everything. There are others out there who have lost far more than me! I don’t handle it the same way as others though!” Wolfpaw stared at her like she was a four headed cat with six legs, five paws, and three tails. 'She can't really be serious? Because she...she...couldn't...handle...it?' he almost shut down at this point, it was far too much for him. Too many memories, to much pain. It was just too much, and yet, he couldn't find himself, or rather, make himself turn and walk away. Didn't she trust him enough to help her? Didn't she trust him enough to talk to? Didn't she trust him enough to heal her? His looked at the she-cat like she just tore him apart, shredded his heart to pieces. And she did. Best friends didn't do that; they didn't run away to find a way to deal with losing loved ones. They didn't just up and leave you like that. They didn't bring you pain like she had him. Best friends just didn't do that. “It broke me to leave. It shattered me to leave, but I had to pick the pieces up and put myself back together. Brookclan knows nothing except that I’m not some soft kittypet. They don’t question and I don’t answer.”

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His eyes hardened. So she was keeping secrets from her new clan too? He wanted her to come back, but apparently, that'd never happen. She wouldn't go back to the place where it all happened. First she hid her pain from him, then the reason for her disappearance from her clan, and now, her past from her new clan? Did she not trust anyone anymore? Wolfpaw couldn't help the hurt that shone through his amber eyes; but he didn't try and hide it either. It hurt to think his best friend would do all that, would betray everyone she cares, or once cared for. It wasn't his best friend anymore, he reminded himself, turning his gaze away from the she-cat, towards the place where he buried his prey, refusing to look at the she-cat once more.

“Why? Really? You can’t figure that out?”

He snapped his head back towards the she-cat, eyes alight with fury. Waiting for her to finish saying what she needed to before opening his own mouth. His fury was beyond belief; he figured he knew the reason, but she needed to tell him, he couldn't get to conclusions though, there was just too much about Riddlepaw that he didn't know anymore. He was forced to rethink everything about the she-cat that he thought he once knew like the back of his paw. Apparently, he was wrong. He watched her with furious and fierce eyes as she stepped up to the edge of the border, a low growl erupting from his throat before he could try to keep it in.

“There was too much. There were way too many memories. Memories that still haunt me even though I’m no longer there, memories that only become more and more potent the more I try to ignore them. At least in Brookclan, I don’t flinch because I’m in a place that I once stood with Dustpaw.”

Memories, that's what all this was about; the memories were just too much for her. Wolfpaw stood, and walked even closer to the border, the closest he ever was, almost nose to nose with Riddlepaw, his furious eyes never once leaving hers. His eyes suddenly went from the fiery fury to a frozen coldness. "There was just too much?" he asked, quietly, dangerously. "Running away from your problems never works, Riddlepaw, they'll follow you where ever you go. You can't get rid of them, no matter how hard you try."[/color] His mind wandered back to Fernkit, how he let her down; Marshtail, how it was his fault; Talonstrike, how he could do nothing; Hawkpaw, how he can't help anymore.

"Even if your in the same place you were with Dustpaw, even if you feel complete again, happy again, you can't escape it. It'll only grow. You'll remember their face, their mew, their eyes. You won't be able to sleep a day without ever thinking about them. You won't be able to get rid of the feeling of failure, of failing them." Wolfpaw turned away from Riddlepaw and made his way a few tail-lengths away from the border, before continuing.

"The pain stays with you always, Riddlepaw." his cold amber met her cold ice. Memories, both of his kithood with his best friend and of his loss of his kin, suddenly pooled around him, closing in. He was drowning, and all anyone could do was watch.

[ word count: ] 1099
[ Tagged: ] Riddlepaw/Elise
[ Comments: ] N/A
[ Muse: ] Greeaat~

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